Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Feeling moody...not anymore.

Just finished watching the Golden Globes tonight and I am quite sore to admit it but it makes my current dreams seem...monumental. Of course I don't expect to see myself accepting a Globe anytime soon or at all, but it certainly puts things in perspective. Powerhouse giants like Merrill Streep, while excepting her award and praising the talents of Viola Davis, she sheds a complaint that Hollywood's money doesn't usually make it into the hands of creative, interesting but risky talent. I am such a talent. My romances are not just romances. My children's books aren't just fluff and my interest in Si-Fy can rival a fan-natic.

I remember when I was fourteen years old, I was asked which senior class I wanted to be in for the my remaining two terms. I had a choice of 4 Science, 4 Art, 4 General and 4 Business. I chose 4 Business and 4 Art. Frowning faces told me  I had to chose one. So I smiled then chose 4 Business and took the art classes at another school because HFC's art department was, most certainly, CRAP! My home teacher found this, for some ungodly reason, an abomination. She made taking the final exams in both subjects quite difficult. She was the art teacher and I guess she took offense. Her curriculum was, is and always will be...crap.

Moving on...

Despite my digression to the past, I know now that the task I have chosen to undertake (The Georgia Nutts Guild) is ripe and swollen with difficulty. This group was founded to help facilitate the dreams of artists...friends...but I can't help anyone if they won't help themselves. I am seriously contemplating trashing the whole thing. The GNG is meant to be a fun collaboration and communication between artists. I realize now that many people do not know what 'collaboration' and 'communication' mean. Everyone has contracted the sickness that is the internet -- it feeds into their vanity and inflates their ideas of self-importance. The phrase "I'm out to get mine" is not only over used but misguided. It is quite problematic to become a success on your own. If you doubt my words, feel free to Google titans such as Oprah, Steve Jobs and of course Bill Gates. None of these people, or anyone else in their catagory of success, will point merrily at us all and say "Ha, Ha! I did it all by myself, you suckers!"  Despite this obvious wisdom, people will still continue to feel proud to 'go it alone' and squirrel way in their trees--talking to themselves about the day they are going to be successful in their fields and that they will 'show' everyone! I can say all this with absolute comfort and without fear of burning bridges, simply because I know that only the first few words of this essay will be actually read. Congratulations to those who have made it this far. You may actually like my work or maybe...bored.

Several times I've told myself that I should not be the motivator of other people's dreams. I'm... just... not... wealthy in money, patience or time. The only dreams I should facilitate are the dreams of myself and my children.  So why continue the GNG? Why continue to spotlight local talent especially if they don't really care if I do? I don't have the answer to that but I do know that I love art. I love literature, illustration, music and the culinary crafts. As a child I have always wanted to find a way to bask in it. So...so what if others have trouble sharing their work with the world for free. I like it. My comics make me laugh and the poems and stories I write is quiet cathartic. It felt good that someone I did not know, saw my web address on my car and was inspired to create a video based on a poem he read on my site. Art is motion. I like that...the fact that something I created was shoved into the world, grew wings.

Now with my perspective adjusted, I can continue to draw and write for Read Georgia Nutts.com and feel free. I know that I am putting my all into something I love doing. If I fail...then I never really would fail because I did my best and the fun was in the journey.

Here is one of the poems that have inspired me.
"See It Through"
By Edgar Albert Guest 1881–1959

When you’re up against a trouble,
    Meet it squarely, face to face;
Lift your chin and set your shoulders,
    Plant your feet and take a brace.
When it’s vain to try to dodge it,
    Do the best that you can do;
You may fail, but you may conquer,
    See it through!

Black may be the clouds about you
    And your future may seem grim,
But don’t let your nerve desert you;
    Keep yourself in fighting trim.
If the worst is bound to happen,
    Spite of all that you can do,
Running from it will not save you,
    See it through!

Even hope may seem but futile,
    When with troubles you’re beset,
But remember you are facing
    Just what other men have met.
You may fail, but fall still fighting;
    Don’t give up, whate’er you do;
Eyes front, head high to the finish.
    See it through!
By DAP Tales.

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